Grief Literacy at Work

When I sat down with Jane Dixon for an episode of Solve & Thrive – The HR Solutions Unleashed Podcast, I didn’t expect the conversation to stick with me quite so deeply.

But it has. Maybe that’s because I lost my dad when I was 12 and went back to school straight away, no space to process, just carry on. And over the years in my HR career, I’ve seen that same pattern play out again and again — adults feeling they have to “get on with it”.

Jane, a grief coach who works with individuals and organisations — shared a term I hadn’t heard before: grief literacy. The more we spoke, the more I realised this isn’t a niche issue. It’s a vital competency that many managers, teams, and even HR leaders are under-equipped for.

This matters even more than ever in today’s complex, multigenerational, and neurodiverse workplace. And this isn’t about being counsellors. It’s about being capable, compassionate leaders who don’t flinch when real life shows up at work.

Grief is universal, but the way we express, experience, and support it in the workplace varies greatly. For too long, workplaces have been ill-equipped to respond to loss — not just bereavement, but all kinds of grief: divorce, health diagnosis, loss of identity, or even team changes.

1. Five (soon to be six) Generations, Five Grief Languages

For the first time, five generations are working side-by-side — from Gen Z to Baby Boomers. Each brings a different set of cultural norms and expectations around grief.

• Boomers and Gen X often come from a "get on with it" culture, where grief was private and stoicism praised.

• Millennials and Gen Z are more open about emotions, mental health, and the need for psychological safety.

• Gen Z in particular is more likely to expect compassion from employers — not just policies.

Managers can no longer apply a one-size-fits-all approach. Leading with curiosity and empathy is vital:

“How would you like to be supported?”
“What does grief look like for you?”
“What feels manageable right now?”

Gen Alpha isn’t far behind, born from 2010 onwards, the oldest Gen Alphas will begin entering the workplace in the early 2030s, starting with apprenticeships and internships. They too will bring a different approach, and higher expectations, around the support they receive.

2. Neurodivergent Employees May Process Grief Differently

For neurodivergent team members such as those with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences, grief can affect regulation, communication, and routines in unique ways.

Managers should avoid assumptions, and instead:

• Allow for more flexible communication (written check-ins, not just verbal)

• Be patient with changes in mood, focus, or social interaction

• Understand that masking grief is common — and exhausting

Small adjustments make a big difference. Think reduced stimuli, altered workloads, or permission to take space when needed.

It’s also important to consider the manager. When we talk about neurodivergence, the focus is often on employees, and rightly so, but what if the manager is neurodivergent?

Neurodivergent managers, including those with ADHD, autism, or other cognitive differences, may approach grief and emotional support differently

• Approach grief and emotion with high empathy but low tolerance for emotional overwhelm

• Struggle with uncertainty, silence, or blurred boundaries

• Prefer structured responses and checklists over open-ended support

That’s not a weakness, it's a different lens. Neurodivergent managers may also bring deep insight, creative support mechanisms, and a unique capacity for compassion,  especially when workplaces allow them to lead authentically.

The best way to support grief literacy is to equip all managers, not just those who seem naturally “emotionally intelligent” — with adaptable tools.

3. Culture Shapes How We Express Loss

Culture and faith and belief systems deeply influence how people grieve and how long. For example:

• Some cultures expect a year of mourning; others resume normal routines quickly

• Public expressions of grief (tears, rituals, dress) vary widely

• The role of community in grieving may be more important than individual time off

Managers who take the time to ask respectful questions, rather than assuming what’s appropriate, build trust and psychological safety.

4. Grief Literacy Is a Core Leadership Competency

Managing grief well isn’t about HR forms. It’s about:

• Awareness: Knowing that grief shows up in behaviour, not just absence.

• Adaptability: Adjusting expectations and timelines sensitively.

• Support: Proactively offering resources, EAP info, phased returns, or just space to talk.

• Boundaries: Supporting without overstepping, being present but not intrusive.

Jane Dixon reminds us: “You don’t need to fix it. You need to acknowledge it.”

5. So, What Can Managers Do Right Now?

• Use 1:1s to check in, not check up

• Learn the language of empathy: "I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm here."

• Build your own self-awareness and understand your own grief style and triggers

• Ask, don't assume - "What support would help you right now?"

• Be flexible, one person may want more routine, another more time

• Use your tools - EAP, phased returns, flexible deadlines, buddy systems

• Champion change and advocate for updated compassionate leave policies that reflect real grief experiences

It’s Time to Ditch the ‘Back to Normal’ Mentality

Grief doesn’t have a neat timeline. The workplace is one of the few places where people try to perform their roles while grieving, often silently.

Grief literacy isn’t a soft skill - it’s a leadership necessity.

Let’s build workplaces where grief isn’t a disruption — it’s a human experience we’re prepared to meet with understanding, flexibility, and care.

When managers are grief-literate, they humanise the workplace. They foster retention, respect, and resilience across all generations, cultures, and minds.

 You’re Not Alone – Support Is Out There

If this blog has sparked reflection, or brought up feelings about how you’ve experienced grief or how you’ve supported others, remember this: you don’t have to navigate it alone.

Jane Dixon’s episode on Solve & Thrive – The HR Solutions Unleashed Podcast is a powerful starting point. Her practical, compassionate approach gives managers the tools to respond without fear of “getting it wrong.”

If you or your team want to go deeper, Jane also offers two brilliant workshops that can help:

Becoming Grief Literate – A 90-minute session for everyone, packed with real-world language tips, relatable scenarios, and a downloadable grief guide you can keep and share.

Foundations of Compassionate Workplace Support for Managers – A deeper dive into workplace grief, including secondary loss, listening without fixing, supportive language, and what managers can do to lead with compassion and confidence.

We'd love to hear your thoughts — how is your workplace currently supporting grief? What would help you feel more confident?

👋 I'm Pam, founder of PM Business Support Services. I help first-line managers build confidence through:

• Software that simplifies people processes, keeps records compliant, and gives managers the tools to act without second-guessing

• Standards that reflect the Company values and give managers clear, consistent guidance — no more wondering “what’s the right thing to do?”

• Skills training & on-demand HR advice that solve real-world people problems — so managers feel supported, not stuck

Everything your managers need to thrive.

Let’s chat: [email protected]
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